Thank Heaven for Iron

Hello dear reader, i'm feeling much better today, thank you for caring. Recently my doctor said that i was low on iron. It wasn't a surprise, in fact i am usually more surprised when they say i'm NOT low on iron. So i'm back on iron supplements and i think there's a real difference. For instance, i've been seeing stars lately. Not just when someone drops an anvil on my head either. I'm talking about seeing stars when i'm sitting on a chair drinking water. Anyway i'm feeling better now that i'm on the iron. My little boys are being extra sweet today, and even with the snow, my spirits are up. I hope this is a good omen for the week.

A Little Bummed

Today i'm a little bummed. Oh wait, it's Wednesday, no wonder! I swear pregnancy equals bummed... for me anyway. I spend my day trying to figure out how to do the laundry and pick up toys and carry in groceries all without that pinch in my back turning lethal. Every once in a while i will pick something up and that pain in my belly causes me to drop it. even if it's one of my kids. then my spine twists another twist, like a wash cloth being wrung out. and just when you think you've twisted the thing as much as you can, another twist sends me reeling. Maybe having a cold is making me even sadder. If anyone read this blog i would feel bad for whining but since it's just for me, I'm gonna bitch my heart out. MY BACK HURTS, not to mention my front. add the fact that i can't talk without coughing and you've got a picture of my life lately. Honestly i am just an inch away from crying all the time. I feel like i'm spending my day trying to keep it in . Probably i'd just let it out, but i don't want to scare my kids. And if i cry all of the time, then crying at important times loses credibility. Anyway, optimism has never been a strong suit of mine. I hope my kids grow up more well rounded than i am. emotionally anyway. So that's my pregnant (29 weeks) grumpy tirade, i hope you, nonexistent reader, have enjoyed it.

Vacation

So Sam just came down the stairs crying. "do you know why
i'm sad?" He asked.
"no, why?"
"because i miss vacation so much." Hmmm, He told me this while i was in the middle of scrubbing the toilet. boy, i miss vacation so much too. One week ago yesterday we came home from wonderful temps in Glendale Arizona. Here, Today, it is snowing. Last week we were swimming (0ut doors!) This week, toilet cleaning. I can see why the tears. I almost shed a tear when i saw the snow this morning too. After the bathrooms were clean (by the way, i'm not gonna be able to reach the tub with my giant belly much longer) we stopped with the cleaning and played with playdough for a while. It's not vacation, but i hope it helps.

I have GIANT plans for this summer. Swimming every day, visits to the zoo and the park, backyard water fights, hikes in the mountains ending in roasting stuff over a fire. normal summer stuff but lots of it. then i remember that i have a baby coming in the middle of June. So pre-baby i'm huge and energyless, and post-baby i'm not sure how much fun stuff we'll be able to fit in either. I hope that our summer feels like one big vacation (esp. since Sam starts school in August) but i can't make him any promises. Playdough is the best i can do for now.

Hair Cut

Today i got my hair cut. It's the same style, just needed it cut. I am torn on the subject of hair cuts. I spent my whole life trying to convince my mom that i wanted short hair until in jr high she finally gave me what i wanted, then i was called a boy by more than one substitute teacher. I grew it back out for high school. I went short again in college and was mistaken for a lesbian. I was stronger by then though so i didn't much care what folks called me. My husband fell in love with me with short hair, but i am certain that he prefers it long. I've grown it way out and cut it way short a few times since our marriage and every time i cut it i feel like me again. I feel liberated. I also feel guilty. I want him to think i'm pretty and when i cut my hair i feel i'm also cutting my chances of that.

When i was young my mom had beautiful long curly hair. When she had a brain tumor and they had to shave it all off i was devastated. (i never saw her without hair, but they told me she wouldn't have any.) I think of my little boys i want them to remember me as a pretty mommy and that's why i grew it out most recently. then it got a little shorter and a little shorter and finally it is crazy short again. Just how i love it! So while i will never mourn the loss of my hair, i sure hope that i'm still impressive and pretty (and a just little bit punky). And that's my obsessing about hair.

Listening to the new U2 album. Remember release parties where you'd stay up all night on monday to get a new album at midnight. Then you'd drive around in your car with your lover and listen to the whole thing before going home. Well around here they don't do that anymore. Last night my hubby was going to get the new U2 at midnight but couldn't find anyone who was going to be selling it at midnight. I went this morning at 11:00 ish to Walmart (because it's close by) and asked for the album. A guy asked another guy who said "yeah, i think they're in a box somewhere" so he moved a whole slue of boxes and came up with an unopened box of precious U2 CD's. Weird, i was the first person looking for it today? maybe it's cause i was at walmart, or it could be the internet. I'm inclined to blame the internet, but since i love it, i'll forgive it.

So i'm listening to the new U2 album, it takes me back to my more obsessed days, but it's also new and that's amazing. Sometimes i don't feel like i breathe enough, and a new U2 song is like a deep breath! Thank heaven that Bono is using his voice again. I missed it. Granted, i still haven't even listened to the whole thing yet (i haven't mentioned that it's called No Line on the Horizon) but thank heaven that U2 is still making music. I needed this right about now!